Leben einer Hausfrau oder life of a housewife

I am making this exact face
right now.

Yesterday, I started losing my mind a bit. I called and scheduled a pregnancy test with the doctor for the 26th. It was that or the 23rd, and I have a ball (ugh, balls) that my husband is dragging me to that night. And the next day, I have a class an hour away. So, I thought that the next Monday would be better since they do their testing at 7 a.m. Of course, as soon as I hung up the phone, I started second guessing myself. I was thinking myself down all of these alleyways and back roads of my mind that didn't even need to be considered. So, I went and did something productive.

I don't know if you can tell, but I don't work. Well, you know, it's that old saw that I work, but I don't get paid for it. Whatever. I don't work. I volunteer a few hours a week at the library and I try to keep my house reasonably clean and I cook dinner. The library has been good because I kept thinking about getting a job, but didn't want to because I was worried I would get pregnant right away and then want to quit. Plus, after a couple of hours there, I really have "worked" enough.  A friend of mine keeps bugging me about going to school and getting my bachelor's, but I haven't wanted to start that because of the possibility of pregnancy on the horizon and also because it costs a fair amount of money and I don't see using a degree. Because I don't work.

Imagine this, but without makeup.
Not a pretty picture.

I have worked in the past. Not very much though, I'll be honest. I worked when we first got married for a while. I can't remember how long. Maybe six months? It was as a hostess at a pie restaurant. The pay and the hours were crap, but I got a discount on pie. (Come to think of it, maybe that's part of the reason I started packing on the pounds after getting married.) After a couple of moves, I got fed up with being home and got a job in August of 2005 and kept it until the next April. That one was as a cafeteria lady. I got to wear a hairnet and everything. The height of glamour. Eventually, I quit because DH was deploying and I wanted to travel with him before he left. Then I had a job filling in as church secretary for a month. The only thing that did was manage to royally screw up our taxes, the consequences of which I was still dealing with five years later.

After another couple of moves, I was in eastern Washington. I got a job while I was there, at a quilt shop, for all of fifteen months. I loved that job and would have stayed forever if I could have, but in September of 2008, DH came back from his latest deployment and we went to Colorado. While in Colorado I had an unsuccessful business out of the house. Just when I had started building a decent client base, we got the orders that we were coming back to Germany.

I am a little jealous of women that have jobs. I see DH's coworkers and they seem so successful and happy with what they do. I read blogs of women that are working and it seems glamorous somehow. As though they are living in a fast-paced world where they are up against challenges daily and always overcome. They are important and needed. It makes my life seem small.

This is what I look like most days.
 Especially the high heels and apron.

On the other hand, I like to be able to travel whenever I want. I don't enjoy being overly busy. I like cooking dinner and being able to spend the day going for a run in the middle of the afternoon or sewing for a couple of hours or reading. I feel like I have a small life, but for the most part, it's a good life. And at some point, I will add mothering to my hausfrau duties. This is a cliché, but I believe that raising children is the most important work that a person can do. 


Plus, I still don't have to change out of my pj's. 


CD 16, 3 dp trigger