I have a really nice vacuum. It's one of those Dyson, sucks up anything in sight, please God keep it away from your eyeballs or one might get sucked in, vacuums. It sucks up crap like nobody's business and has a self propeller function and it doesn't even have icky bags to change, just a plastic cylinder that all the dirt goes into and then I dump out once the suction will only get hairballs from 6 inches away instead of a full yard. It's a really good vacuum.
A Guide to Vacuuming in the Sinking Household
- Get the vacuum from upstairs, then get the transformer from downstairs and bring them both to the main level.
- Plug the transformer into the wall, and then the vacuum into the transformer. (You can see some interesting pyrotechnics if you plug the appliance into the transformer first, and then the transformer into the wall, but then you have another set of complications on your hands.)
- Commence wiggling, making sure the vacuum is turned to the on position. Wiggle. Wiggle. Varooo...dead.
- Wiggle, wiggle. Varooooooooooo. Success!
- Try not to bump anything and commence with the vacuuming.
- Do not turn on the self propulsion because you are vacuuming expensive area rugs instead of boring old carpets.
- Slowly drag the vacuum over the rug.
- And back. Back and forth.
- When the vacuum dies, go back to wiggling the plug.
- Congratulations, you got two whole feet of the carpet clean and it's only been half an hour!
- Take a break to check facebook.
- Repeat for eternity or....
- Give up and continue the process of slowly destroying the rug by using the beater brushes/self propulsion.
- The fringes of the carpet get stuck in the vacuum. Dammit! Jiggle the cord to stop the vacuum.
- Curse the whole process, leave everything out in the living room to mock you while you have a cookie.
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Now you have a step by step guide. Anyone who wants to come and vacuum will get a free cookie.