Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Hinterteil oder breech
Yesterday I went for my 37 week appointment. All was good. Baby's active, I'm feeling good. (I went for an eight and a half mile walk on Friday!) Everything was hunky-dory until Dr. H pulled out the ultrasound. He put the wand up on the right side of my abdomen underneath of my ribs and-BAM!-there was spawnette's head. Shit.
At 31 weeks she was head down, so at some point in the past month and a half, she has decided she likes being close to my heart. How sweet! But, also, not good in terms of a natural birth.
Dr. H said that we will take a look again next week, that she still has time to turn. He said that if she is still breech in ten days or so we'll have to schedule a C-section. Ugh.
I'm trying to keep the end in mind. I've been through this whole process looking for a healthy baby. She's healthy! (7 lbs 4 oz by yesterday's estimate and moving all the time.) In a few months or years, it won't matter how she got here, just that we have her. But....
I have thought about what it would be like to give birth for the longest time. For at least the eleven years DH and I have been married, and certainly some as a teenager and child surrounded by aunts who shared their birth stories often. I found a doula to help me through labor and delivery before my first trimester was over. I've been taking any birth classes offered and have read up on what to expect. German hospitals are supposed to be amazing for giving birth because they are almost like birthing centers in the States would be. They let you move around, they have water birth facilities, they give you walking epidurals. This is supposed to be a wonderful experience.
To have that all taken away and go straight to a C-section.....it just guts me. When other women are telling their harrowing tales of all the drama of birth, I would have to say, "Oh, she was breech. I had a C-section." It feels like a loss and a failure.
So, I'm doing headstands and playing music to my crotch and trying acupuncture and chiropractic help. I've got a cold pack strapped onto my belly where spawnette's head likes to hang out and am trying not to lean back and get comfortable, but instead to hang my belly down low and get her to turn. I'm hoping to God this works and I will get a chance to have my birth. Even if it's not perfect, even if it's messy and long and ends up in a C-section, I want the chance to try. I had to have major medical help to get this baby in here, but I'd like to get her out on my own.
So, anyone else doing headstands this week?
At 31 weeks she was head down, so at some point in the past month and a half, she has decided she likes being close to my heart. How sweet! But, also, not good in terms of a natural birth.
Dr. H said that we will take a look again next week, that she still has time to turn. He said that if she is still breech in ten days or so we'll have to schedule a C-section. Ugh.
I'm trying to keep the end in mind. I've been through this whole process looking for a healthy baby. She's healthy! (7 lbs 4 oz by yesterday's estimate and moving all the time.) In a few months or years, it won't matter how she got here, just that we have her. But....
I have thought about what it would be like to give birth for the longest time. For at least the eleven years DH and I have been married, and certainly some as a teenager and child surrounded by aunts who shared their birth stories often. I found a doula to help me through labor and delivery before my first trimester was over. I've been taking any birth classes offered and have read up on what to expect. German hospitals are supposed to be amazing for giving birth because they are almost like birthing centers in the States would be. They let you move around, they have water birth facilities, they give you walking epidurals. This is supposed to be a wonderful experience.
To have that all taken away and go straight to a C-section.....it just guts me. When other women are telling their harrowing tales of all the drama of birth, I would have to say, "Oh, she was breech. I had a C-section." It feels like a loss and a failure.
So, I'm doing headstands and playing music to my crotch and trying acupuncture and chiropractic help. I've got a cold pack strapped onto my belly where spawnette's head likes to hang out and am trying not to lean back and get comfortable, but instead to hang my belly down low and get her to turn. I'm hoping to God this works and I will get a chance to have my birth. Even if it's not perfect, even if it's messy and long and ends up in a C-section, I want the chance to try. I had to have major medical help to get this baby in here, but I'd like to get her out on my own.
So, anyone else doing headstands this week?
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Loslassen oder Letting Go
I'm ready. I'm finally ready. I am ready to throw off the mantle of survivor guilt and embrace life going forward.
Since I got pregnant, I've been feeling guilty. About only having to do injectables, about only needing one cycle on them, about having a healthy pregnancy, about leaving others behind. No more. I am embracing what life has given me with open arms and moving out from that guilt mantle. (Guilt mantles are not nearly as pretty as gilt mantles.) I still identify as infertile and I'm still sharing what my experience has been with people, but I am no longer holding onto the shame I have felt.
Hopefully what this means is that I will be posting more often. I may start a new blog to get a fresh start. We'll see.
Thank you for listening and thank you for following along on my journey thus far.
Since I got pregnant, I've been feeling guilty. About only having to do injectables, about only needing one cycle on them, about having a healthy pregnancy, about leaving others behind. No more. I am embracing what life has given me with open arms and moving out from that guilt mantle. (Guilt mantles are not nearly as pretty as gilt mantles.) I still identify as infertile and I'm still sharing what my experience has been with people, but I am no longer holding onto the shame I have felt.
Hopefully what this means is that I will be posting more often. I may start a new blog to get a fresh start. We'll see.
Thank you for listening and thank you for following along on my journey thus far.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
28 Wochen und keine Komplikationen oder 28 weeks and no complications
This Monday was my 28 week appointment. I am now being hooked up to the heartbeat monitor for spawnette and contraction monitor for me at each appointment. It kind of looks like a medieval torture device, but thankfully doesn't feel that way. I spent the twenty minutes or so sewing some hexagons together for a Grandmother's Flower Garden quilt. It was a nice way to pass the time, listening to her heartbeat and sewing.
I gained not quite 2 kilograms between this appointment and the last one. This is the first time that I've actually gained any remarkable weight. I was not thin to start with, so Dr H hasn't been concerned. This time though, he came in and said, "Getting bigger, huh?" Yes, doctor, yes I am. Thanks for that.
All my tests from last time came back clear, which was great news. No gestational diabetes and no anemia! Those were the ones I was most worried about. Dr H asked me how the yeast infection was. I told him it seemed to have gone away with treatment, but I thought it was back. Sure enough, as soon as he put me in the stirrups he confirmed this. So, another round of treatment I go. I also bought some probiotic pills and some trink joghurt to maybe help this problem. So, I guess that's a little complication, but a very minor one. Mostly, it's really annoying.
Labor Day weekend, DH, my house guest and I took the train up to Berlin. We had a really good time. It was exhausting though. We walked and walked. I went back Saturday and Sunday to the apartment we were staying in and took a nap in the afternoon. The apartment was another story in itself.
I did not realize Berlin is so....gay friendly. The neighborhood we were in seemed gay fetish friendly, specifically. There were gay fetish cruising bars and leather clothing on display all around. And our apartment was decorated in black and silver with hooks in the ceiling and chains in the loft for said hooks. Was the neighborhood safe? Yes. The usual type of neighborhood that I would stay in....no.
So, that's the update for now. The weather is starting to turn here and I am so glad. The weeks of 90+ weather were making me crazy. Now we head on into fall and crisp nights. I'm looking forward to snuggling under blankets instead of sweating on top of the sheets.
Now, here are some pictures from Berlin.
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| Not my Grandmother's Flower Garden, but similar. |
All my tests from last time came back clear, which was great news. No gestational diabetes and no anemia! Those were the ones I was most worried about. Dr H asked me how the yeast infection was. I told him it seemed to have gone away with treatment, but I thought it was back. Sure enough, as soon as he put me in the stirrups he confirmed this. So, another round of treatment I go. I also bought some probiotic pills and some trink joghurt to maybe help this problem. So, I guess that's a little complication, but a very minor one. Mostly, it's really annoying.
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| Yum? |
I did not realize Berlin is so....gay friendly. The neighborhood we were in seemed gay fetish friendly, specifically. There were gay fetish cruising bars and leather clothing on display all around. And our apartment was decorated in black and silver with hooks in the ceiling and chains in the loft for said hooks. Was the neighborhood safe? Yes. The usual type of neighborhood that I would stay in....no.
So, that's the update for now. The weather is starting to turn here and I am so glad. The weeks of 90+ weather were making me crazy. Now we head on into fall and crisp nights. I'm looking forward to snuggling under blankets instead of sweating on top of the sheets.
Now, here are some pictures from Berlin.
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| My cousin, playing with her food. |
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| Starting off the morning right. |
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| Potsdamer Platz in Berlin |
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| The Holocaust Memorial |
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| The Brandenburg Gate |
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| Pregnant cartwheels |
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| The view from the top of the Victory Column |
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| A mosaic on the ceiling of Kaiser Wilhelm Church |
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Striving for contentment
In March I signed up for one of Cristy's fertility sock exchanges. I was in the midst of my first cycle with injectables. Cristy sets it up so that instead of giving and receiving socks with the same person, it's more of a chain where you receive from one person and give to another. Before I got my socks or had a chance to send mine out, I got my BFP and went on to have a positive beta the next week. Since that happened, one of my sock buddies has gotten pregnant and is in her second trimester with twins. The other has had an IUI that didn't result in pregnancy.
I've been reading lots of fertility blogs during my journey and many of the people that were TTCing when I started reading have gone on to get pregnant and are on the road to have healthy babies or already have their healthy baby. There are still several though who have not managed this, despite all of their best efforts and medical technology and hope and prayer. My sock buddy who has not conceived told me that she was self-isolating and trying to come to terms with what life has dealt her. I got the impression that it was, "Thanks for checking in, but it's too painful for me to talk to you and I need time to heal."
As I sit here, feeling the kicks of my daughter for the last hour or so, my heart breaks once again for those who have not been able to complete their journey to motherhood. (Not that my journey is over, mind you.) I want to be able to say to those people that they are not left behind in my mind. They are not less. They are still working through their journey to parenthood, or are working on making peace with being childless. They are still in my heart. I want to reach out and give comfort or a shoulder to cry on. I don't know how though. When I was still going through it, my mom would say to me that she knew I would have a baby. I know she was trying to comfort me, but I just wanted to lash out and say, "And what if I don't?! Don't tell me that everything will be alright when you don't know if that will happen. You can't guarantee that!"
Infertility has changed me and there are things that I don't think I'll ever take for granted. And I hope that if I meet someone, in person or online, who is struggling, that I will be able to say something besides, "Everything will be okay." Because sometimes, everything isn't okay. Sometimes life is really hard and things suck. Life is not fair. I think we all know this
But, I do believe that every person can get to a point where they are content with their life as it is, at least for a moment. And I hope that my interactions with others will be part of what makes a life of contentment, even if only for a moment. That's one good thing that has come out of my struggle with infertility.
I've been reading lots of fertility blogs during my journey and many of the people that were TTCing when I started reading have gone on to get pregnant and are on the road to have healthy babies or already have their healthy baby. There are still several though who have not managed this, despite all of their best efforts and medical technology and hope and prayer. My sock buddy who has not conceived told me that she was self-isolating and trying to come to terms with what life has dealt her. I got the impression that it was, "Thanks for checking in, but it's too painful for me to talk to you and I need time to heal."
As I sit here, feeling the kicks of my daughter for the last hour or so, my heart breaks once again for those who have not been able to complete their journey to motherhood. (Not that my journey is over, mind you.) I want to be able to say to those people that they are not left behind in my mind. They are not less. They are still working through their journey to parenthood, or are working on making peace with being childless. They are still in my heart. I want to reach out and give comfort or a shoulder to cry on. I don't know how though. When I was still going through it, my mom would say to me that she knew I would have a baby. I know she was trying to comfort me, but I just wanted to lash out and say, "And what if I don't?! Don't tell me that everything will be alright when you don't know if that will happen. You can't guarantee that!"
Infertility has changed me and there are things that I don't think I'll ever take for granted. And I hope that if I meet someone, in person or online, who is struggling, that I will be able to say something besides, "Everything will be okay." Because sometimes, everything isn't okay. Sometimes life is really hard and things suck. Life is not fair. I think we all know this
But, I do believe that every person can get to a point where they are content with their life as it is, at least for a moment. And I hope that my interactions with others will be part of what makes a life of contentment, even if only for a moment. That's one good thing that has come out of my struggle with infertility.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Geschäftigen Sommer oder busy summertime
I'm behind. It's been almost three weeks since my last post. Please forgive me, dear readers, (if there are indeed readers). Summer has barely even started and it's already been very busy!
The last post I talked about friends and family. I had a cousin visit for a week starting June 2nd. We went to the Heidelberg burning, and traveled down to Garmisch-Partenkirchen to see the Bavarian wonders. He's a new college graduate and has tons of energy and completely wore me out! I spent last week recovering.
This week, I am wrapping up the final details before our vacation next week. Do you want to know where we are going? On a cruise! We'll be traveling around the Baltic and I will be on the boat for my 30th birthday. Pretty exciting stuff. I'm sure there will be lots of pictures and maybe some good stories.
Other things that have been happening:
DH and I had interviews with three doulas in the area. When I say in the area, I mean within an hour from where we live. I had to search high and low, but I'm so glad that I did because now I actually have a choice. We had our last interview yesterday and are trying to make a decision by the end of the week. It's much harder to choose than I anticipated. Maybe it's because our medical care is usually dictated to us rather than giving us options. But it's free! Military health care is a blessing and a curse.
Speaking of medical issues, I have been having numbness down my right leg. That numbness begins tingling and sending electric pains if I stand or walk too long. I was feeling so great three weeks ago that I went on a run and have been having this problem ever since. So, it's biking and walking (when I can) for exercise right now. I've been seeing a chiropractor to help, and it seems to be making a difference. When I tried to get into physical therapy, I was sent on a circular wild goose chase that involved a few wasted hours in an ER and many tears of frustration on my part. When I asked my OB about it, he said it's normal and there's not much he can do or recommend. So, chiropractic it is, with hopefully an occasional massage thrown in. There are worse things.
And, speaking of the OB, I had my 16 week appointment yesterday. We did another ultrasound because it's only 35 euro and worth the money for the reassurance. The first thing Dr. H said to me was, "You're not feeling the baby move yet." Good to know. Everything was looking good. Heartbeat 150. Spawn was squirming and kicking on the ultrasound. (External for the first time, and I'm not sure I prefer it! The picture was much clearer with Wanda.) I got a note for the cruise, and our next appointment is on the 16th of June. Dr. H said that it looks like a spawnette, but I'm going to try my hardest to resist getting anything yet until the next time when things will be more clear. But I'm really hoping he's right!
So, that's what's going on. Next week, while DH and I are gone, another cousin will be arriving. She'll be with us for a while, but we're not sure how long yet. I'm sure that she and I will spend time together. No one except DH knows about this blog, so posts will probably continue to be few and far between. I am reading your blogs though!
This busy summertime will quickly enough ease into (hopefully) less busy fall. And then maybe I will be able to be more present. In the meantime, I hope you are enjoying your summer!
The last post I talked about friends and family. I had a cousin visit for a week starting June 2nd. We went to the Heidelberg burning, and traveled down to Garmisch-Partenkirchen to see the Bavarian wonders. He's a new college graduate and has tons of energy and completely wore me out! I spent last week recovering.
This week, I am wrapping up the final details before our vacation next week. Do you want to know where we are going? On a cruise! We'll be traveling around the Baltic and I will be on the boat for my 30th birthday. Pretty exciting stuff. I'm sure there will be lots of pictures and maybe some good stories.
Other things that have been happening:
DH and I had interviews with three doulas in the area. When I say in the area, I mean within an hour from where we live. I had to search high and low, but I'm so glad that I did because now I actually have a choice. We had our last interview yesterday and are trying to make a decision by the end of the week. It's much harder to choose than I anticipated. Maybe it's because our medical care is usually dictated to us rather than giving us options. But it's free! Military health care is a blessing and a curse.
Speaking of medical issues, I have been having numbness down my right leg. That numbness begins tingling and sending electric pains if I stand or walk too long. I was feeling so great three weeks ago that I went on a run and have been having this problem ever since. So, it's biking and walking (when I can) for exercise right now. I've been seeing a chiropractor to help, and it seems to be making a difference. When I tried to get into physical therapy, I was sent on a circular wild goose chase that involved a few wasted hours in an ER and many tears of frustration on my part. When I asked my OB about it, he said it's normal and there's not much he can do or recommend. So, chiropractic it is, with hopefully an occasional massage thrown in. There are worse things.
And, speaking of the OB, I had my 16 week appointment yesterday. We did another ultrasound because it's only 35 euro and worth the money for the reassurance. The first thing Dr. H said to me was, "You're not feeling the baby move yet." Good to know. Everything was looking good. Heartbeat 150. Spawn was squirming and kicking on the ultrasound. (External for the first time, and I'm not sure I prefer it! The picture was much clearer with Wanda.) I got a note for the cruise, and our next appointment is on the 16th of June. Dr. H said that it looks like a spawnette, but I'm going to try my hardest to resist getting anything yet until the next time when things will be more clear. But I'm really hoping he's right!
So, that's what's going on. Next week, while DH and I are gone, another cousin will be arriving. She'll be with us for a while, but we're not sure how long yet. I'm sure that she and I will spend time together. No one except DH knows about this blog, so posts will probably continue to be few and far between. I am reading your blogs though!
This busy summertime will quickly enough ease into (hopefully) less busy fall. And then maybe I will be able to be more present. In the meantime, I hope you are enjoying your summer!
Monday, May 21, 2012
Zweiten OB Besuch oder second OB visit
ACHTUNG! ACHTUNG! WARNING! WARNING!
Lots of pregnancy talk today.
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Today is twelve weeks exactly. The last few days have been pretty good. And, if I can get through today without throwing up (and it's looking good so far), it will be a week since the last time I got sick. Woohoo!
DH was able to come to this visit. (If you remember from the last visit he wasn't able to be there.) It had been almost six weeks since he last saw my insides. I ran into a friend in the waiting room, so we chatted, which was nice. They weighed me this time and took my blood pressure. The blood pressure was pretty good. The best thing that I can say about the weight was that it was in kilograms instead of pounds and so it was a lot lower.
Then we saw Dr. H. He told me the results of my tests, which were good. Iron levels okay, no chlamydia. Good to know. I asked about a note for the cruise DH and I will be taking in a few weeks (more on that later). They'll give me the note next time. I then nervously asked if it would be okay to have a glass of champagne. Dr H said that an occasional drink would not cause any problems. I know there are people out there who would say that I shouldn't even ask, but hey, I'm in Europe and I have a German doctor. I'm going to go for the European experience. I told him I had lost some weight, and he said that in the first sixteen weeks, they don't expect much change in weight, so losing a little is okay. Then we went to the ultrasound.
It was with Wanda again, which honestly, I didn't mind. The picture is really clear and it's not uncomfortable, so whatever. I had planned to drink some orange juice just before the appointment, but didn't. It didn't matter. The blob is no longer a blob! There are two arms and two legs and we saw at least one hand that had all five fingers. There's a brain and a very visible (and audible) heartbeat (145). We even saw it moving around, which was really amazing. We saw the umbilical cord and the blood flow there. It's 55.6 mm, so just about two inches long. I'm amazed that only ten weeks after conception, this creature is fully formed and just needs to grow bigger and mature. It's not something that is yet to be. It is. A teeny, tiny human.
I've been feeling disconnection and disbelief. Seeing my baby (writing those words is unreal) kick and move its arms and legs makes me feel like this might really be real. There might really be a reason my pants are getting tight. It's possible the reason I've been feeling crappy is because there's a person that I'm growing. It's unbelievable, but I might be starting to believe it.
After the appointment, I went to the reception desk to make the next appointment. And, I got my Mutterpass! This is all of your medical records for your pregnancy. And, if you have more than one child in Germany, it will be for all of your pregnancies. You are to carry it with you at all times so that if there's a problem, the doctor will be able to look at your Mutterpass and know your pregnancy medical history. It is the symbol that you are really pregnant. And I have one!
I'm so happy right now. I can't stop smiling. This is really happening! And I am so thankful.
Lots of pregnancy talk today.
-----------------------------
Today is twelve weeks exactly. The last few days have been pretty good. And, if I can get through today without throwing up (and it's looking good so far), it will be a week since the last time I got sick. Woohoo!
DH was able to come to this visit. (If you remember from the last visit he wasn't able to be there.) It had been almost six weeks since he last saw my insides. I ran into a friend in the waiting room, so we chatted, which was nice. They weighed me this time and took my blood pressure. The blood pressure was pretty good. The best thing that I can say about the weight was that it was in kilograms instead of pounds and so it was a lot lower.
Then we saw Dr. H. He told me the results of my tests, which were good. Iron levels okay, no chlamydia. Good to know. I asked about a note for the cruise DH and I will be taking in a few weeks (more on that later). They'll give me the note next time. I then nervously asked if it would be okay to have a glass of champagne. Dr H said that an occasional drink would not cause any problems. I know there are people out there who would say that I shouldn't even ask, but hey, I'm in Europe and I have a German doctor. I'm going to go for the European experience. I told him I had lost some weight, and he said that in the first sixteen weeks, they don't expect much change in weight, so losing a little is okay. Then we went to the ultrasound.
It was with Wanda again, which honestly, I didn't mind. The picture is really clear and it's not uncomfortable, so whatever. I had planned to drink some orange juice just before the appointment, but didn't. It didn't matter. The blob is no longer a blob! There are two arms and two legs and we saw at least one hand that had all five fingers. There's a brain and a very visible (and audible) heartbeat (145). We even saw it moving around, which was really amazing. We saw the umbilical cord and the blood flow there. It's 55.6 mm, so just about two inches long. I'm amazed that only ten weeks after conception, this creature is fully formed and just needs to grow bigger and mature. It's not something that is yet to be. It is. A teeny, tiny human.
I've been feeling disconnection and disbelief. Seeing my baby (writing those words is unreal) kick and move its arms and legs makes me feel like this might really be real. There might really be a reason my pants are getting tight. It's possible the reason I've been feeling crappy is because there's a person that I'm growing. It's unbelievable, but I might be starting to believe it.After the appointment, I went to the reception desk to make the next appointment. And, I got my Mutterpass! This is all of your medical records for your pregnancy. And, if you have more than one child in Germany, it will be for all of your pregnancies. You are to carry it with you at all times so that if there's a problem, the doctor will be able to look at your Mutterpass and know your pregnancy medical history. It is the symbol that you are really pregnant. And I have one!
I'm so happy right now. I can't stop smiling. This is really happening! And I am so thankful.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Würgen die ganze Zeit
Last week came and went without a post from me. For shame. Again, I'm still around, just feeling really lousy. I've been tired which is okay, but this week the morning sickness ramped up a notch. Yesterday morning I was trying to get out of bed and downstairs to give DH a kiss good morning, but I went too fast and ended up heaving in the sink instead. All day yesterday, every time I got up from sitting or lying down, I would start gagging. Today started similarly, without the actual sick though, thankfully. DH asked me to get some bread and that made me gag. Mixing honey in with my yogurt this morning was cause for retching. Leaning over to get the cat food out of the cupboard had me heaving. Fun times.
I'm eleven weeks along, so I'm just praying that in the next couple of weeks things will get better. Pretty please?
Also, I'm still feeling disconnected from the pregnancy. DH will be coming with me next Monday to the OB, so maybe holding his hand while hearing the heartbeat will get this lodged into my head a little better.
P.S. Today's title sounds so much better in German, that I just left it that way. If you really want to see what it says, plug it into Google translate.
I'm eleven weeks along, so I'm just praying that in the next couple of weeks things will get better. Pretty please?Also, I'm still feeling disconnected from the pregnancy. DH will be coming with me next Monday to the OB, so maybe holding his hand while hearing the heartbeat will get this lodged into my head a little better.
P.S. Today's title sounds so much better in German, that I just left it that way. If you really want to see what it says, plug it into Google translate.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Ich bin hier oder I am here
I am here, just so you know. I am just so, so tired. Hopefully later this week I can find some energy for a better post. Sorry I've been slacking. See you later.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Dies und das oder this and that
Well, I've waded through most of the paperwork to get to my off post OB. I went to an OB brief on post last Wednesday and got the call yesterday that my referral was in, so I went back in and got my first appointment scheduled. I'll be seeing my OB for the first time on Monday.
In the military community I'm in, there is no military hospital. There's a rather large clinic, but there's no emergency room, so they send you off post for your OB care. There are two doctors that all of the American women get sent to. I did get my choice of docs and I've heard nothing but good about the one I will be going to. The hospital is supposed to be fantastic with acupuncture and massage and water birthing tubs. Also, Germans really don't encourage epidurals so that will be good for me. I've always wanted to go the more natural route. The only thing I'm having trouble with right now is finding a doula. DH is out of town for an exercise for the next couple of weeks, so he won't be able to make it to this first OB appointment, but I'd rather get under care sooner than wait for him to be able to come too.
My morning sickness hasn't been too bad, and even if it were, I wouldn't be complaining. I went for a run this morning and the pear that I ate did not stay down for long after I got home. Also, my run time is slowing down, but that's to be expected. I've been needing more sleep and my boobs have gotten noticeably bigger, which I'm not crazy about because I was already a D and now my old DD bras are getting tight. My running bras are really, really tight and I don't know if I'll be able to find a bigger size in those. Oh well.
I'm still spotting off and on. I think sleeping on my stomach is causing some of the problem, so I'm experimenting with staying off my stomach and seeing if that helps. It's never too bad, but it's really scary to be going through your day all happy and then to go to the bathroom and have a heart-stopping moment when you wipe and there's something there that wasn't supposed to be. It reminds me a lot of thinking that a cycle had worked, and then going to the bathroom and finding out I had gotten my period and my whole day being ruined. I never thought that bathroom time would be so integral to whether or not my day goes well.
During the OB brief, the nurse said that one woman had taken eight HPTs to make really sure she was pregnant. I just sort of laughed and said that I've gone through a 50 pack. I still take one every now and then, just to make sure. I know if something were to happen at this point that I would still get a positive for a while, but I just have to see that those lines are still there. Eight tests, what a laugh.
Anyway, that's what's going on here. What's going on with you?
In the military community I'm in, there is no military hospital. There's a rather large clinic, but there's no emergency room, so they send you off post for your OB care. There are two doctors that all of the American women get sent to. I did get my choice of docs and I've heard nothing but good about the one I will be going to. The hospital is supposed to be fantastic with acupuncture and massage and water birthing tubs. Also, Germans really don't encourage epidurals so that will be good for me. I've always wanted to go the more natural route. The only thing I'm having trouble with right now is finding a doula. DH is out of town for an exercise for the next couple of weeks, so he won't be able to make it to this first OB appointment, but I'd rather get under care sooner than wait for him to be able to come too.
My morning sickness hasn't been too bad, and even if it were, I wouldn't be complaining. I went for a run this morning and the pear that I ate did not stay down for long after I got home. Also, my run time is slowing down, but that's to be expected. I've been needing more sleep and my boobs have gotten noticeably bigger, which I'm not crazy about because I was already a D and now my old DD bras are getting tight. My running bras are really, really tight and I don't know if I'll be able to find a bigger size in those. Oh well.
I'm still spotting off and on. I think sleeping on my stomach is causing some of the problem, so I'm experimenting with staying off my stomach and seeing if that helps. It's never too bad, but it's really scary to be going through your day all happy and then to go to the bathroom and have a heart-stopping moment when you wipe and there's something there that wasn't supposed to be. It reminds me a lot of thinking that a cycle had worked, and then going to the bathroom and finding out I had gotten my period and my whole day being ruined. I never thought that bathroom time would be so integral to whether or not my day goes well.
During the OB brief, the nurse said that one woman had taken eight HPTs to make really sure she was pregnant. I just sort of laughed and said that I've gone through a 50 pack. I still take one every now and then, just to make sure. I know if something were to happen at this point that I would still get a positive for a while, but I just have to see that those lines are still there. Eight tests, what a laugh.
Anyway, that's what's going on here. What's going on with you?
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