How long? This is the question that I keep getting asked.
Today, December 3rd, is my due date. A little more than 38 weeks ago I had done my trigger shot and was just hoping that this would work, but not believing that it would. But it did! And here I sit, very pregnant, on the brink of one of the biggest changes that I will ever experience in my life. I still marvel at this fact.
So, how long? I never expected that I would give birth on or before my due date. In fact, when I was told December 3rd, I automatically thought December 10th. But modern medicine being what it is, I am behind the power curve and am expected to hurry up and perform!
When I went in for my appointment today, we did the normal non-stress test. Spawnette was deeper in than usual and a little lazy for the monitor, but still healthy enough that the doctor is happy. I'm getting really tired of those non-stress tests, let me tell ya! Dr. H checked my cervix, and everything is still closed up tight.
Then we did another ultrasound. She has not engaged in my pelvis, something that I could have told you without an ultrasound. Dr. H seemed concerned about this. He also said she is measuring at 8 lbs, 10 oz. This I take with a grain of salt that's about 2 lbs, the size that late term ultrasounds can be off (either way). He thinks that she may be too big to fit into my pelvis. I think that he doesn't realize that she's just not ready. He said we could wait, or do a trial labor, or schedule a c-section.
I'm still (relatively) comfortable and I'm in no hurry, so I said wait. I'm going back in on Thursday for another appointment, where I'm sure I'll be told that we should really consider some medical intervention.
Here's the thing: when my mom had me, I was born 20 days after her due date. Now, I suspect that there was some miscalculation and since there was no ultrasound done, that due date was a guess as much as anything. No question, I was overdue since I pooped while inside, but I was not huge. All of my aunts were overdue as well. This is a long(ha!)-standing tradition in my family. So, given that, I am content to wait. My plan is to wait until next Wednesday. To give myself and spawnette time, and also because how cool would it be if she was born on 12/12/12?
So, we will wait. And I will try to be polite, but insistent with my doctor. And try not to think too much about the what-ifs. And enjoy the last few days of freedom.
I'm not in a hurry, but I do look forward to meeting my daughter.
Showing posts with label ultrasound. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ultrasound. Show all posts
Monday, December 3, 2012
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Kopf nach unten und bewegen Belastungen oder head down and moving stresses
I meant to get to this earlier in the week, but it didn't happen. Fortunately (for you) I cannot sleep, so I'll write this post now!
Last week at my 37 week appointment spawnette was breech. Dr. H didn't have any suggestions as to what might help, so I talked to my doula and she gave me several suggestions. Monday night, I only slept about 3 hours in total. Tuesday I tried to get moxibustion (more on this later), but they were just doing acupuncture at the hospital. I did get in the chiropractor on Tuesday. I was also doing inversions, as suggested by my doula. And playing classical music in my pants (which DH thought was hilarious). And using a hot pack down low and an ice pack up high. And pushing on spawnette's head. And talking to her. Basically whatever I could come up with that was safe. Or, relatively.
Tuesday night I actually got some sleep, which was great after feeling like a zombie all day the day before. I woke up Wednesday feeling kind of crappy and weird, but went on with my day. I was able to get ahold of the midwives at my hospital on Wednesday morning and schedule the moxibustion. I can't find a good link for this, but if you google it, you'll find some descriptions. Basically, the practitioner takes an incense stick the size of a cigar of mugwort, gets it good and glowing, and holds it at the outside corner of your pinkie toe at your bladder 67 point. I did this while on my elbows and knees with a midwife at my hospital. After ten minutes, the midwife did a check with palpation and said the baby had turned. Then I sat on the heartbeat monitor for 20 minutes. Usually spawnette is very active, but she seemed to be tired and taking a nap. It was good enough for the midwives though.
Monday I went in for another appointment and Dr. H checked via ultrasound, and she had turned! I was so relieved. Now I'm a tiny bit paranoid that she'll decide to turn back, but I think it will be pretty hard for her to accomplish at this point.
This week has been very busy. I've been working since last week on getting food put away in the freezer for when spawnette arrives since we will be on our own. Monday I did some more cooking and was on my feet most of the day. Tuesday, I did acupuncture and my last appointment with the chiropractor until after the birth, as well as cleaning and then a murder mystery dinner with friends that night. I didn't sleep much Tuesday night because of what was coming on Wednesday.
Wednesday, DH and I drove up to the place we will be moving to at the beginning of February. We have to find housing there, and the sooner the better. The only snag is that with us not moving for a couple of months landlords, understandably, can be hesitant about waiting to get a place filled until then. I only got about five hours of sleep Wednesday night, broken into two segments. We left home at 7 am and returned about 4:30 pm. We looked at three places. None of them are as big as the place we are in now, but there were a couple that could work. The first place had an especially good location and parking spaces for two cars, which is a luxury in town. We asked about that place and the gal at the housing office called the landlady. She said she would have to talk it over with her husband. The second bedroom in that place is very small, but will work well for an infant. My hope is that they understand that and will be willing to wait for us. We are supposed to hear back tomorrow. Otherwise, we will possibly drive back up on Friday to see another place. I had really hoped Friday would be a day to relax. We'll see.
So, with the stress of that, I slept last night from 10 until about 2 this morning. At 2:30, I turned on my light and read for about 45 minutes. (DH and I are in separate beds until spawnette arrives. It's just too crowded with all the pillows I am using, and I move around way too much.) Then I tried to sleep for another 45 minutes. No dice. So, now I'm up writing this. It's about 5 am now. At 1 pm, we will have somewhere between 10 and 12 adults coming for Thanksgiving along with 4 or so babies and at least one kid. I am not cooking the turkey, thank heavens. I do have some things to make today, but I'm hoping everyone will be out of here by 6 pm.
So, that's been the last week or so. Sorry about the novel. I'm stressed by the moving situation and needed to get it out. I would like something to be resolved there so that I can get a good night's sleep before I have real reason to be up at all hours.
To my American friends, Happy Thanksgiving!
Last week at my 37 week appointment spawnette was breech. Dr. H didn't have any suggestions as to what might help, so I talked to my doula and she gave me several suggestions. Monday night, I only slept about 3 hours in total. Tuesday I tried to get moxibustion (more on this later), but they were just doing acupuncture at the hospital. I did get in the chiropractor on Tuesday. I was also doing inversions, as suggested by my doula. And playing classical music in my pants (which DH thought was hilarious). And using a hot pack down low and an ice pack up high. And pushing on spawnette's head. And talking to her. Basically whatever I could come up with that was safe. Or, relatively.
Tuesday night I actually got some sleep, which was great after feeling like a zombie all day the day before. I woke up Wednesday feeling kind of crappy and weird, but went on with my day. I was able to get ahold of the midwives at my hospital on Wednesday morning and schedule the moxibustion. I can't find a good link for this, but if you google it, you'll find some descriptions. Basically, the practitioner takes an incense stick the size of a cigar of mugwort, gets it good and glowing, and holds it at the outside corner of your pinkie toe at your bladder 67 point. I did this while on my elbows and knees with a midwife at my hospital. After ten minutes, the midwife did a check with palpation and said the baby had turned. Then I sat on the heartbeat monitor for 20 minutes. Usually spawnette is very active, but she seemed to be tired and taking a nap. It was good enough for the midwives though.
Monday I went in for another appointment and Dr. H checked via ultrasound, and she had turned! I was so relieved. Now I'm a tiny bit paranoid that she'll decide to turn back, but I think it will be pretty hard for her to accomplish at this point.
This week has been very busy. I've been working since last week on getting food put away in the freezer for when spawnette arrives since we will be on our own. Monday I did some more cooking and was on my feet most of the day. Tuesday, I did acupuncture and my last appointment with the chiropractor until after the birth, as well as cleaning and then a murder mystery dinner with friends that night. I didn't sleep much Tuesday night because of what was coming on Wednesday.
Wednesday, DH and I drove up to the place we will be moving to at the beginning of February. We have to find housing there, and the sooner the better. The only snag is that with us not moving for a couple of months landlords, understandably, can be hesitant about waiting to get a place filled until then. I only got about five hours of sleep Wednesday night, broken into two segments. We left home at 7 am and returned about 4:30 pm. We looked at three places. None of them are as big as the place we are in now, but there were a couple that could work. The first place had an especially good location and parking spaces for two cars, which is a luxury in town. We asked about that place and the gal at the housing office called the landlady. She said she would have to talk it over with her husband. The second bedroom in that place is very small, but will work well for an infant. My hope is that they understand that and will be willing to wait for us. We are supposed to hear back tomorrow. Otherwise, we will possibly drive back up on Friday to see another place. I had really hoped Friday would be a day to relax. We'll see.
So, with the stress of that, I slept last night from 10 until about 2 this morning. At 2:30, I turned on my light and read for about 45 minutes. (DH and I are in separate beds until spawnette arrives. It's just too crowded with all the pillows I am using, and I move around way too much.) Then I tried to sleep for another 45 minutes. No dice. So, now I'm up writing this. It's about 5 am now. At 1 pm, we will have somewhere between 10 and 12 adults coming for Thanksgiving along with 4 or so babies and at least one kid. I am not cooking the turkey, thank heavens. I do have some things to make today, but I'm hoping everyone will be out of here by 6 pm.
So, that's been the last week or so. Sorry about the novel. I'm stressed by the moving situation and needed to get it out. I would like something to be resolved there so that I can get a good night's sleep before I have real reason to be up at all hours.
To my American friends, Happy Thanksgiving!
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Hinterteil oder breech
Yesterday I went for my 37 week appointment. All was good. Baby's active, I'm feeling good. (I went for an eight and a half mile walk on Friday!) Everything was hunky-dory until Dr. H pulled out the ultrasound. He put the wand up on the right side of my abdomen underneath of my ribs and-BAM!-there was spawnette's head. Shit.
At 31 weeks she was head down, so at some point in the past month and a half, she has decided she likes being close to my heart. How sweet! But, also, not good in terms of a natural birth.
Dr. H said that we will take a look again next week, that she still has time to turn. He said that if she is still breech in ten days or so we'll have to schedule a C-section. Ugh.
I'm trying to keep the end in mind. I've been through this whole process looking for a healthy baby. She's healthy! (7 lbs 4 oz by yesterday's estimate and moving all the time.) In a few months or years, it won't matter how she got here, just that we have her. But....
I have thought about what it would be like to give birth for the longest time. For at least the eleven years DH and I have been married, and certainly some as a teenager and child surrounded by aunts who shared their birth stories often. I found a doula to help me through labor and delivery before my first trimester was over. I've been taking any birth classes offered and have read up on what to expect. German hospitals are supposed to be amazing for giving birth because they are almost like birthing centers in the States would be. They let you move around, they have water birth facilities, they give you walking epidurals. This is supposed to be a wonderful experience.
To have that all taken away and go straight to a C-section.....it just guts me. When other women are telling their harrowing tales of all the drama of birth, I would have to say, "Oh, she was breech. I had a C-section." It feels like a loss and a failure.
So, I'm doing headstands and playing music to my crotch and trying acupuncture and chiropractic help. I've got a cold pack strapped onto my belly where spawnette's head likes to hang out and am trying not to lean back and get comfortable, but instead to hang my belly down low and get her to turn. I'm hoping to God this works and I will get a chance to have my birth. Even if it's not perfect, even if it's messy and long and ends up in a C-section, I want the chance to try. I had to have major medical help to get this baby in here, but I'd like to get her out on my own.
So, anyone else doing headstands this week?
At 31 weeks she was head down, so at some point in the past month and a half, she has decided she likes being close to my heart. How sweet! But, also, not good in terms of a natural birth.
Dr. H said that we will take a look again next week, that she still has time to turn. He said that if she is still breech in ten days or so we'll have to schedule a C-section. Ugh.
I'm trying to keep the end in mind. I've been through this whole process looking for a healthy baby. She's healthy! (7 lbs 4 oz by yesterday's estimate and moving all the time.) In a few months or years, it won't matter how she got here, just that we have her. But....
I have thought about what it would be like to give birth for the longest time. For at least the eleven years DH and I have been married, and certainly some as a teenager and child surrounded by aunts who shared their birth stories often. I found a doula to help me through labor and delivery before my first trimester was over. I've been taking any birth classes offered and have read up on what to expect. German hospitals are supposed to be amazing for giving birth because they are almost like birthing centers in the States would be. They let you move around, they have water birth facilities, they give you walking epidurals. This is supposed to be a wonderful experience.
To have that all taken away and go straight to a C-section.....it just guts me. When other women are telling their harrowing tales of all the drama of birth, I would have to say, "Oh, she was breech. I had a C-section." It feels like a loss and a failure.
So, I'm doing headstands and playing music to my crotch and trying acupuncture and chiropractic help. I've got a cold pack strapped onto my belly where spawnette's head likes to hang out and am trying not to lean back and get comfortable, but instead to hang my belly down low and get her to turn. I'm hoping to God this works and I will get a chance to have my birth. Even if it's not perfect, even if it's messy and long and ends up in a C-section, I want the chance to try. I had to have major medical help to get this baby in here, but I'd like to get her out on my own.
So, anyone else doing headstands this week?
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Aus dem Urlaub zurück oder back from vacation
Wow, it's been a long time since I've written. Since the last time DH and I went on a cruise in the Baltic Sea. We saw most of the Baltic capitals and even managed to go to the ballet in Saint Petersburg, which was amazing.
The week after we got back, it was time for the next OB appointment. This was the twenty week scan, so Dr. H took quite a while looking to make sure everything was measuring correctly. At this point they measure the circumference of the head and length of the femur to determine gestational age and any age within 10 days is considered normal. All the structures look normal. We could even see the bladder full of fluid because the spawn (that's our nickname) had been swallowing amniotic fluid. Then Dr. H told us what we had been anxiously waiting to hear: It's a girl! Both DH and I wanted a girl, so this is fantastic news!
I still don't feel like I look pregnant, just kinda fat. I think part of that is because I have been this big around before without a baby in there. I am still wearing my old pants, although my shirts are getting too short and I'm rotating some maternity tops in. I've gained less than five pounds since getting pregnant, but Dr. H doesn't seem concerned. That's just another thing that I love about German doctors.
I clearly have not been posting regularly, and don't know if I will get back to it or not. I feel like with the point of viability coming up in just a few more weeks I'm becoming confident at the prospect of bringing home a baby. If I keep writing, I think things will change a bit. Life is just different, although I still marvel at the fact that I'm pregnant and I think about how things were. Before one of our trips last month DH said to me that he realized that he hadn't woken up to the sound of the thermometer in a long time. It's a continual amazement.
So, I hope your summer is going well. Congrats to the ladies who finally have their BFPs out there! You've worked hard for it. Try to enjoy it. And those who haven't I'm rooting for you! I look forward to the day when I visit your blog and see your good news.
Happy Summer!
The week after we got back, it was time for the next OB appointment. This was the twenty week scan, so Dr. H took quite a while looking to make sure everything was measuring correctly. At this point they measure the circumference of the head and length of the femur to determine gestational age and any age within 10 days is considered normal. All the structures look normal. We could even see the bladder full of fluid because the spawn (that's our nickname) had been swallowing amniotic fluid. Then Dr. H told us what we had been anxiously waiting to hear: It's a girl! Both DH and I wanted a girl, so this is fantastic news!
I still don't feel like I look pregnant, just kinda fat. I think part of that is because I have been this big around before without a baby in there. I am still wearing my old pants, although my shirts are getting too short and I'm rotating some maternity tops in. I've gained less than five pounds since getting pregnant, but Dr. H doesn't seem concerned. That's just another thing that I love about German doctors.
I clearly have not been posting regularly, and don't know if I will get back to it or not. I feel like with the point of viability coming up in just a few more weeks I'm becoming confident at the prospect of bringing home a baby. If I keep writing, I think things will change a bit. Life is just different, although I still marvel at the fact that I'm pregnant and I think about how things were. Before one of our trips last month DH said to me that he realized that he hadn't woken up to the sound of the thermometer in a long time. It's a continual amazement.
So, I hope your summer is going well. Congrats to the ladies who finally have their BFPs out there! You've worked hard for it. Try to enjoy it. And those who haven't I'm rooting for you! I look forward to the day when I visit your blog and see your good news.
Happy Summer!
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| This is a Russian mosquito. We stayed in the room a lot in St. Petersburg. |
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| I did cartwheels in most of the places we visited. It just seemed like a fun thing to do! |
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| I survey my queendom. |
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| This was at the Vigeland Sculpture Park in Oslo. One of the many interesting but slightly terrifying statues. |
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Geschäftigen Sommer oder busy summertime
I'm behind. It's been almost three weeks since my last post. Please forgive me, dear readers, (if there are indeed readers). Summer has barely even started and it's already been very busy!
The last post I talked about friends and family. I had a cousin visit for a week starting June 2nd. We went to the Heidelberg burning, and traveled down to Garmisch-Partenkirchen to see the Bavarian wonders. He's a new college graduate and has tons of energy and completely wore me out! I spent last week recovering.
This week, I am wrapping up the final details before our vacation next week. Do you want to know where we are going? On a cruise! We'll be traveling around the Baltic and I will be on the boat for my 30th birthday. Pretty exciting stuff. I'm sure there will be lots of pictures and maybe some good stories.
Other things that have been happening:
DH and I had interviews with three doulas in the area. When I say in the area, I mean within an hour from where we live. I had to search high and low, but I'm so glad that I did because now I actually have a choice. We had our last interview yesterday and are trying to make a decision by the end of the week. It's much harder to choose than I anticipated. Maybe it's because our medical care is usually dictated to us rather than giving us options. But it's free! Military health care is a blessing and a curse.
Speaking of medical issues, I have been having numbness down my right leg. That numbness begins tingling and sending electric pains if I stand or walk too long. I was feeling so great three weeks ago that I went on a run and have been having this problem ever since. So, it's biking and walking (when I can) for exercise right now. I've been seeing a chiropractor to help, and it seems to be making a difference. When I tried to get into physical therapy, I was sent on a circular wild goose chase that involved a few wasted hours in an ER and many tears of frustration on my part. When I asked my OB about it, he said it's normal and there's not much he can do or recommend. So, chiropractic it is, with hopefully an occasional massage thrown in. There are worse things.
And, speaking of the OB, I had my 16 week appointment yesterday. We did another ultrasound because it's only 35 euro and worth the money for the reassurance. The first thing Dr. H said to me was, "You're not feeling the baby move yet." Good to know. Everything was looking good. Heartbeat 150. Spawn was squirming and kicking on the ultrasound. (External for the first time, and I'm not sure I prefer it! The picture was much clearer with Wanda.) I got a note for the cruise, and our next appointment is on the 16th of June. Dr. H said that it looks like a spawnette, but I'm going to try my hardest to resist getting anything yet until the next time when things will be more clear. But I'm really hoping he's right!
So, that's what's going on. Next week, while DH and I are gone, another cousin will be arriving. She'll be with us for a while, but we're not sure how long yet. I'm sure that she and I will spend time together. No one except DH knows about this blog, so posts will probably continue to be few and far between. I am reading your blogs though!
This busy summertime will quickly enough ease into (hopefully) less busy fall. And then maybe I will be able to be more present. In the meantime, I hope you are enjoying your summer!
The last post I talked about friends and family. I had a cousin visit for a week starting June 2nd. We went to the Heidelberg burning, and traveled down to Garmisch-Partenkirchen to see the Bavarian wonders. He's a new college graduate and has tons of energy and completely wore me out! I spent last week recovering.
This week, I am wrapping up the final details before our vacation next week. Do you want to know where we are going? On a cruise! We'll be traveling around the Baltic and I will be on the boat for my 30th birthday. Pretty exciting stuff. I'm sure there will be lots of pictures and maybe some good stories.
Other things that have been happening:
DH and I had interviews with three doulas in the area. When I say in the area, I mean within an hour from where we live. I had to search high and low, but I'm so glad that I did because now I actually have a choice. We had our last interview yesterday and are trying to make a decision by the end of the week. It's much harder to choose than I anticipated. Maybe it's because our medical care is usually dictated to us rather than giving us options. But it's free! Military health care is a blessing and a curse.
Speaking of medical issues, I have been having numbness down my right leg. That numbness begins tingling and sending electric pains if I stand or walk too long. I was feeling so great three weeks ago that I went on a run and have been having this problem ever since. So, it's biking and walking (when I can) for exercise right now. I've been seeing a chiropractor to help, and it seems to be making a difference. When I tried to get into physical therapy, I was sent on a circular wild goose chase that involved a few wasted hours in an ER and many tears of frustration on my part. When I asked my OB about it, he said it's normal and there's not much he can do or recommend. So, chiropractic it is, with hopefully an occasional massage thrown in. There are worse things.
And, speaking of the OB, I had my 16 week appointment yesterday. We did another ultrasound because it's only 35 euro and worth the money for the reassurance. The first thing Dr. H said to me was, "You're not feeling the baby move yet." Good to know. Everything was looking good. Heartbeat 150. Spawn was squirming and kicking on the ultrasound. (External for the first time, and I'm not sure I prefer it! The picture was much clearer with Wanda.) I got a note for the cruise, and our next appointment is on the 16th of June. Dr. H said that it looks like a spawnette, but I'm going to try my hardest to resist getting anything yet until the next time when things will be more clear. But I'm really hoping he's right!
So, that's what's going on. Next week, while DH and I are gone, another cousin will be arriving. She'll be with us for a while, but we're not sure how long yet. I'm sure that she and I will spend time together. No one except DH knows about this blog, so posts will probably continue to be few and far between. I am reading your blogs though!
This busy summertime will quickly enough ease into (hopefully) less busy fall. And then maybe I will be able to be more present. In the meantime, I hope you are enjoying your summer!
Monday, May 21, 2012
Zweiten OB Besuch oder second OB visit
ACHTUNG! ACHTUNG! WARNING! WARNING!
Lots of pregnancy talk today.
-----------------------------
Today is twelve weeks exactly. The last few days have been pretty good. And, if I can get through today without throwing up (and it's looking good so far), it will be a week since the last time I got sick. Woohoo!
DH was able to come to this visit. (If you remember from the last visit he wasn't able to be there.) It had been almost six weeks since he last saw my insides. I ran into a friend in the waiting room, so we chatted, which was nice. They weighed me this time and took my blood pressure. The blood pressure was pretty good. The best thing that I can say about the weight was that it was in kilograms instead of pounds and so it was a lot lower.
Then we saw Dr. H. He told me the results of my tests, which were good. Iron levels okay, no chlamydia. Good to know. I asked about a note for the cruise DH and I will be taking in a few weeks (more on that later). They'll give me the note next time. I then nervously asked if it would be okay to have a glass of champagne. Dr H said that an occasional drink would not cause any problems. I know there are people out there who would say that I shouldn't even ask, but hey, I'm in Europe and I have a German doctor. I'm going to go for the European experience. I told him I had lost some weight, and he said that in the first sixteen weeks, they don't expect much change in weight, so losing a little is okay. Then we went to the ultrasound.
It was with Wanda again, which honestly, I didn't mind. The picture is really clear and it's not uncomfortable, so whatever. I had planned to drink some orange juice just before the appointment, but didn't. It didn't matter. The blob is no longer a blob! There are two arms and two legs and we saw at least one hand that had all five fingers. There's a brain and a very visible (and audible) heartbeat (145). We even saw it moving around, which was really amazing. We saw the umbilical cord and the blood flow there. It's 55.6 mm, so just about two inches long. I'm amazed that only ten weeks after conception, this creature is fully formed and just needs to grow bigger and mature. It's not something that is yet to be. It is. A teeny, tiny human.
I've been feeling disconnection and disbelief. Seeing my baby (writing those words is unreal) kick and move its arms and legs makes me feel like this might really be real. There might really be a reason my pants are getting tight. It's possible the reason I've been feeling crappy is because there's a person that I'm growing. It's unbelievable, but I might be starting to believe it.
After the appointment, I went to the reception desk to make the next appointment. And, I got my Mutterpass! This is all of your medical records for your pregnancy. And, if you have more than one child in Germany, it will be for all of your pregnancies. You are to carry it with you at all times so that if there's a problem, the doctor will be able to look at your Mutterpass and know your pregnancy medical history. It is the symbol that you are really pregnant. And I have one!
I'm so happy right now. I can't stop smiling. This is really happening! And I am so thankful.
Lots of pregnancy talk today.
-----------------------------
Today is twelve weeks exactly. The last few days have been pretty good. And, if I can get through today without throwing up (and it's looking good so far), it will be a week since the last time I got sick. Woohoo!
DH was able to come to this visit. (If you remember from the last visit he wasn't able to be there.) It had been almost six weeks since he last saw my insides. I ran into a friend in the waiting room, so we chatted, which was nice. They weighed me this time and took my blood pressure. The blood pressure was pretty good. The best thing that I can say about the weight was that it was in kilograms instead of pounds and so it was a lot lower.
Then we saw Dr. H. He told me the results of my tests, which were good. Iron levels okay, no chlamydia. Good to know. I asked about a note for the cruise DH and I will be taking in a few weeks (more on that later). They'll give me the note next time. I then nervously asked if it would be okay to have a glass of champagne. Dr H said that an occasional drink would not cause any problems. I know there are people out there who would say that I shouldn't even ask, but hey, I'm in Europe and I have a German doctor. I'm going to go for the European experience. I told him I had lost some weight, and he said that in the first sixteen weeks, they don't expect much change in weight, so losing a little is okay. Then we went to the ultrasound.
It was with Wanda again, which honestly, I didn't mind. The picture is really clear and it's not uncomfortable, so whatever. I had planned to drink some orange juice just before the appointment, but didn't. It didn't matter. The blob is no longer a blob! There are two arms and two legs and we saw at least one hand that had all five fingers. There's a brain and a very visible (and audible) heartbeat (145). We even saw it moving around, which was really amazing. We saw the umbilical cord and the blood flow there. It's 55.6 mm, so just about two inches long. I'm amazed that only ten weeks after conception, this creature is fully formed and just needs to grow bigger and mature. It's not something that is yet to be. It is. A teeny, tiny human.
I've been feeling disconnection and disbelief. Seeing my baby (writing those words is unreal) kick and move its arms and legs makes me feel like this might really be real. There might really be a reason my pants are getting tight. It's possible the reason I've been feeling crappy is because there's a person that I'm growing. It's unbelievable, but I might be starting to believe it.After the appointment, I went to the reception desk to make the next appointment. And, I got my Mutterpass! This is all of your medical records for your pregnancy. And, if you have more than one child in Germany, it will be for all of your pregnancies. You are to carry it with you at all times so that if there's a problem, the doctor will be able to look at your Mutterpass and know your pregnancy medical history. It is the symbol that you are really pregnant. And I have one!
I'm so happy right now. I can't stop smiling. This is really happening! And I am so thankful.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Erste OB Besuch und tiefe Gedanken oder first OB visit and deep thoughts
Today was my first visit with the OB, Dr. H. I went in and the receptionist/nurse asked me if I could urinate. Um, yes, yes I can. In fact I was about to ask you where the bathroom is. Then I sat in the waiting room which had English magazines! This was such a luxury. I brought some hand sewing with me, but promptly lost the needle so I needed the magazines.
I was shown into Dr. H's office and asked questions by the nurse. Had my cycles been regular? No. Am I on any medications? Still on Metformin. Was I still spotting? No, that stopped last week.
Then Dr. H came in. We discussed my history with Herr Doktor. I told him I wanted to stay on the Metformin if possible. He said that I could stay on it for a few more weeks, and then I need to go off. I said okay. I'm thinking if I start splitting pills so I can wean down, it might be okay. I asked if I could go to the sauna. He said that after the first trimester it's okay as long as I don't spend too long in there and I feel okay. Cool.
Then we went into the exam room. Dr. H works with lots of American patients, so they have more of a drape. Since he handed it to me, I went ahead and used it. And, with Herr Doktor it was just me and him in the exam room. Dr H's nurse came in too. He did a pap and then it was time for my date with Wanda. This time when the uterus was on the screen it was a lot easier to see the blob. Not much searching around for it. It is about the shape you would expect from a nine weeks pregnant picture online. Measuring nine weeks exactly. Heartbeat 161. I got to hear the heartbeat this time and I could really see it on the ultrasound clearly, whereas last time Frau Doktor was having to point it out to me. The he checked my ovaries and they looked good. They weren't all covered in cysts, which is good news.
Then I got dressed and the nurse and I went into another room for the blood draw. Now, I have been dreading this because I don't like doing blood draws and everyone talks about how much blood they take from you. She was very good and I hardly felt the poke, but I jumped anyway because I'm wimpy. Then she took four vials of blood. Two big and two little. Not so bad! The way people have been talking, I thought it would be a pint!
The nurse and I went over to the desk and I made my next appointment for May 21st. DH will be able to come to that one (he's out of town on an exercise) and so it will be his first time hearing the heartbeat and it will have changed a lot in the almost six weeks since he'll have seen it. We might even be able to see it moving on the screen. That would be pretty cool.
Ok, deep thoughts time.
As far as all this pregnancy stuff goes, I'm doing okay, but I have to say I feel a little disconnected. I'm still on guard, worried about something happening. It feels surreal. The only thing that's really assuring me that it is real is the morning sickness that lasts all day and being tired all of the time. But even that's not that bad. I was tired all of the time like this on birth control. I'm grateful and so thankful but most of the time it doesn't even feel real. I'm just wondering when I will start feeling feelings for this blob. I know DH is going to want to talk about names soon. If it were up to me, I would wait until viability, but I know that that is really a bit kooky.
I'm just trying to wrap my head and heart around this. Some women say they loved their baby from the time that they knew they were pregnant. Don't get me wrong, I am excited to be pregnant and I am looking forward to meeting this blob when it's a baby, but I can't say that I feel love like I thought I would. I feel terrible even putting that into words, like it's a betrayal of everything I've gone through and infertility itself. I hope I start feeling more connected in the weeks and months to come. If I don't, what will I do? And how can I justify all of the things that I've been through to get me to this point if I don't feel the right feelings? Deep thoughts to ponder.
I was shown into Dr. H's office and asked questions by the nurse. Had my cycles been regular? No. Am I on any medications? Still on Metformin. Was I still spotting? No, that stopped last week.
Then Dr. H came in. We discussed my history with Herr Doktor. I told him I wanted to stay on the Metformin if possible. He said that I could stay on it for a few more weeks, and then I need to go off. I said okay. I'm thinking if I start splitting pills so I can wean down, it might be okay. I asked if I could go to the sauna. He said that after the first trimester it's okay as long as I don't spend too long in there and I feel okay. Cool.
Then we went into the exam room. Dr. H works with lots of American patients, so they have more of a drape. Since he handed it to me, I went ahead and used it. And, with Herr Doktor it was just me and him in the exam room. Dr H's nurse came in too. He did a pap and then it was time for my date with Wanda. This time when the uterus was on the screen it was a lot easier to see the blob. Not much searching around for it. It is about the shape you would expect from a nine weeks pregnant picture online. Measuring nine weeks exactly. Heartbeat 161. I got to hear the heartbeat this time and I could really see it on the ultrasound clearly, whereas last time Frau Doktor was having to point it out to me. The he checked my ovaries and they looked good. They weren't all covered in cysts, which is good news.
Then I got dressed and the nurse and I went into another room for the blood draw. Now, I have been dreading this because I don't like doing blood draws and everyone talks about how much blood they take from you. She was very good and I hardly felt the poke, but I jumped anyway because I'm wimpy. Then she took four vials of blood. Two big and two little. Not so bad! The way people have been talking, I thought it would be a pint!
The nurse and I went over to the desk and I made my next appointment for May 21st. DH will be able to come to that one (he's out of town on an exercise) and so it will be his first time hearing the heartbeat and it will have changed a lot in the almost six weeks since he'll have seen it. We might even be able to see it moving on the screen. That would be pretty cool.
Ok, deep thoughts time.
As far as all this pregnancy stuff goes, I'm doing okay, but I have to say I feel a little disconnected. I'm still on guard, worried about something happening. It feels surreal. The only thing that's really assuring me that it is real is the morning sickness that lasts all day and being tired all of the time. But even that's not that bad. I was tired all of the time like this on birth control. I'm grateful and so thankful but most of the time it doesn't even feel real. I'm just wondering when I will start feeling feelings for this blob. I know DH is going to want to talk about names soon. If it were up to me, I would wait until viability, but I know that that is really a bit kooky.
I'm just trying to wrap my head and heart around this. Some women say they loved their baby from the time that they knew they were pregnant. Don't get me wrong, I am excited to be pregnant and I am looking forward to meeting this blob when it's a baby, but I can't say that I feel love like I thought I would. I feel terrible even putting that into words, like it's a betrayal of everything I've gone through and infertility itself. I hope I start feeling more connected in the weeks and months to come. If I don't, what will I do? And how can I justify all of the things that I've been through to get me to this point if I don't feel the right feelings? Deep thoughts to ponder.
Monday, April 16, 2012
Socken und Graduierung oder socks and graduation
Today the long socks came with me on my last appointment with Herr Doktor. He checked everything out. I'm still spotting, but he said that's okay and just to come in if there's any problem before I get under OB care. The blob is 10.7 mm now.
I have officially graduated. I wish I had a mortarboard to throw! Now I start jumping through the hoops with Tricare to start my OB care. These are hoops that I'm glad to be jumping through.
Friday, April 13, 2012
Alles klar oder all right
I called Herr Doktor's office yesterday at about three. The spotting had tapered off, but it was still there. At around seven in the evening, I got three or four sharp cramps on my left side, which is I'm pretty sure, where the implantation occurred. After that, I got some dark blood, but still not very much. I tried to stay as still as possible all night.
Herr Doktor is on vacation this week, so I saw Frau Doktor again. DH was able to come with me, even though the appointment was not at seven in the morning and he had to do some finagling with work. Anyway, once we got there, I promptly spilled his coffee all over the waiting room floor. Way to go me.
We got shown in to Frau Doktor's office. She asked me what was up and I told her that I had been spotting since Wednesday. It was brown, and there wasn't much, but it was there and I had slight cramping. She went ahead and did an ultrasound after doing a swab to check for infection and looking to see if she could find where the bleeding was coming from.
No bleeding from the cervix, no intrauterine bleeding, and the cervix is still long and closed. What a relief.
And, we saw the heartbeat.
DH is beside himself. He's going to be gone for basically the next month, so this was the only chance he had to see the heartbeat before he left. He tried to get me to say the p word as we were leaving. I still can't quite do it. I can say, "Ich bin schwanger," but not the English version quite yet.
Frau Doktor thinks it's possibly an infection. She said to stop helping people move, to not do any sports, but to go ahead and be up and moving around. She prescribed more progesterone and magnesium, which apparently helps with cramping and will keep the uterus from contracting.
It's amazing to think that just last week, all there was was a gestational sac and this week, we can see a little blob floating in the sac and a heartbeat. She said that the growth rate is "perfect", 6.6mm, exactly the correct size for the gestational age.
DH is planning to call his family tonight and let them know. I should probably call my folks and tell my dad, since Mom has known for almost three weeks already.
So, I'm glad that I went in and had it checked, but relieved that everything is okay. DH wants to tell face.book, but I don't know if I'm ready for that yet. The heartbeat is there, but I still have reservations. I'm trying to give in and fully attach, but it's difficult. Right now, though, I'm focusing on one thing. Alles klar.
Herr Doktor is on vacation this week, so I saw Frau Doktor again. DH was able to come with me, even though the appointment was not at seven in the morning and he had to do some finagling with work. Anyway, once we got there, I promptly spilled his coffee all over the waiting room floor. Way to go me.
 |
| Right now, mostly fett. |
No bleeding from the cervix, no intrauterine bleeding, and the cervix is still long and closed. What a relief.
And, we saw the heartbeat.
DH is beside himself. He's going to be gone for basically the next month, so this was the only chance he had to see the heartbeat before he left. He tried to get me to say the p word as we were leaving. I still can't quite do it. I can say, "Ich bin schwanger," but not the English version quite yet.
Frau Doktor thinks it's possibly an infection. She said to stop helping people move, to not do any sports, but to go ahead and be up and moving around. She prescribed more progesterone and magnesium, which apparently helps with cramping and will keep the uterus from contracting.
It's amazing to think that just last week, all there was was a gestational sac and this week, we can see a little blob floating in the sac and a heartbeat. She said that the growth rate is "perfect", 6.6mm, exactly the correct size for the gestational age.
DH is planning to call his family tonight and let them know. I should probably call my folks and tell my dad, since Mom has known for almost three weeks already.
So, I'm glad that I went in and had it checked, but relieved that everything is okay. DH wants to tell face.book, but I don't know if I'm ready for that yet. The heartbeat is there, but I still have reservations. I'm trying to give in and fully attach, but it's difficult. Right now, though, I'm focusing on one thing. Alles klar.
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